Saturday, January 22, 2011

Me in a Singlet?

“I will stand on the Solid Rock. I believe if I feel it or not. Word of God come and fill my heart. I am Yours. Take control!”

That is the refrain from one of my favorite praise songs called, Solid Rock. It captures where my heart and life are often at, a spiritual wrestling match between what I know is true of the spiritual realm, and the reality of this world. I often get sucked in to the day-to-day of this world and turn my focus from Christ and on to whatever is going on in my life.

That was the case this last week as I wrestled and struggled with many of my insecurities, fears and failures. I let Satan have a foothold with my emotions and he ran me around and had me feeling completely worthless to the point of begging God to take my life to escape from this world. I know, it’s highly dramatic, but true. It was a rough week for me emotionally and spiritually and I know most of you have probably been through the same thing at one or more points in your lives.

It is at these low points in our lives where we must endure and stand firm on the Solid Rock of Christ that we know to be true. When God seems far away and quiet we have to remain faithful to what we know is the truth of His Word. We have to give permission to, and allow, God to speak through our Brothers and Sisters into our lives. We have to intensify our search for God, knowing that we have the promise of finding Him.

God, fill our hearts! We are Yours! Take control!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The One Talent Loser

Today I am feeling like a one talent loser. I speak of the parable of the talents in which several individuals were given charge of their master's wealth while he was away. Two of the individuals did well with their master's wealth and earned him double what they were given. The master was happy and gave them charge of more. The individual who received the least of the wealth was afraid to do anything with the wealth and buried it in the ground to keep it safe. When the master returned he was furious because the servant did nothing with the wealth. The master called the servant wicked and lazy and cast him out into the darkness.

Today I am feeling like that servant.

I don't know if it is true or merely my recollection, but I remember myself being much more creative, fearless, full of joy and life and one point and time. I remember being invigorated by the thought of having the opportunity to serve in ministry and the challenge of leading people closer to Christ. I remember having ideas flowing through my mind constantly.

Over the past six years I have given myself to laziness, anger, gluttony, selfishness and rage. I have not been what I desire to be or what the Lord desires me to be. I read this parable of the talents and I think about my life and ministry now. It's joyless, apathetic, without passion and vision, my mind can't concentrate on one thing long enough to accomplish anything. I wonder if I am the one talent loser. I know I have definitely been afraid to move, to act, to try due to a wide range of fears and insecurities.

Days like today I am definitely feeling like I've been cast out into the darkness. The scripture does not speak of it, but I wonder if there is redemption for the one talent loser. Does he get a second chance?

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Confessions of a Fat Man

I am obese. I'm tired of being obese. I'm trying to do something about it. I like food. I believe I have sometimes idolized food. I love to eat, especially late at night in front of the T.V. I hate exercise. My six-year-old daughter tells me at least once a week that I should exercise so I won't be fat anymore. I believe people look at me differently because I am obese. I have hindered myself with many opportunities because of my weight. I hate flying because of my weight. The arthritis in my knees and ankles make it hard for me to exercise. I believe my lack of self-control in the area of food is a sin. I dislike that my children want me to do all these activities with them but I can't, or won't, because I don't have the energy. I began a healthy eating plan yesterday to help me lose weight. I need to lose about half of myself in weight to be in the zone that the medical field considers to be healthy. I will spare you the shirtless before and after photos. I wasn't always obese. The weight really began to take off after I moved from home and started eating out more and not taking the time to cook for myself. God has given me satisfaction with the food that I've eaten the past day-and-a-half. I have a long road ahead of me.

Raise one of your 8 daily glasses of's to healthy living!