Wednesday, February 23, 2011

It Hurts

It hurts me to lead.
It absolutely kill me to make a decision.
I don't want to make a decision too quickly.
I will appear arrogant and pushy.
I don't want to make a decision too slowly.
I will look slow and stupid.
There is a lot less anxiety in my life this week.
The reason, I don't have to lead anything on Sunday.
I have tried to pinpoint the reasons why leading is so tough for me.
A few reasons have come to mind.
One, I am afraid to fail.
Two, I am afraid to look foolish.
Three, I have a really low self-esteem.
Four, I am positive that leadership is not my gift.
Five, I do not want to be responsible for the outcome.
Six, I am lazy.
This sucks because I am expected to lead.
I am in a position to lead.

No one is following.

I am successful at not leading.
I can feel good about something.