Wednesday, February 23, 2011

It Hurts

It hurts me to lead.
It absolutely kill me to make a decision.
I don't want to make a decision too quickly.
I will appear arrogant and pushy.
I don't want to make a decision too slowly.
I will look slow and stupid.
There is a lot less anxiety in my life this week.
The reason, I don't have to lead anything on Sunday.
I have tried to pinpoint the reasons why leading is so tough for me.
A few reasons have come to mind.
One, I am afraid to fail.
Two, I am afraid to look foolish.
Three, I have a really low self-esteem.
Four, I am positive that leadership is not my gift.
Five, I do not want to be responsible for the outcome.
Six, I am lazy.
This sucks because I am expected to lead.
I am in a position to lead.

No one is following.

I am successful at not leading.
I can feel good about something.

1 comment:

  1. 1 - You will. And we'll love you anyway.
    2 - You usually don't (though some may argue about that beard of yours), but occasionally will. Accept your place in a long line of 'simple things' used mightily by God.
    3 - God esteems you much more appropriately.
    4 - Could this be a way God is drawing you into deeper dependence on Him?
    5 - Ours is simply to follow. He's working out the end results.
    6 - Lazy, or discouraged? I know there are times when I've been robbed of motivation by discouragement - maybe it's only a subtle difference but I think it's an important distinction...

    I hope the seasoning of humor I'm detecting in the end of your post is actually there, or I just made myself look like a huge jerk... At any rate - glad to give you a bit of a break this week. Praying for a great, refreshing, clarifying weekend for you guys.